Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize