PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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