the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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