What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
