I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
