um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I want you more than these girls want KFC
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
