Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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Dignity is for republicans.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize