My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize