Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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