I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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