So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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