why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
