Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
