He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
