He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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