I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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