why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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