I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
