This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
BRING THE BAGELS
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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