the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
