I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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