dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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