O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
