if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
