Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.