help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
