drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.