think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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