Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i think my tv is drunk

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  (860): i think my tv is drunk http://tfl.nu/pa05
  Replies (5) Good night (1322) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.

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  (802): Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser. http://tfl.nu/l90y
  Replies (17) Good night (5356) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love

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  (516): I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love http://tfl.nu/fo0q
  Replies (41) Good night (2485) Bad night (4353)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

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  (914): Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting." http://tfl.nu/dhfp
  Replies (27) Good night (4151) Bad night (2036)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated

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  (603): I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated http://tfl.nu/wizt
  Replies (8) Good night (2407) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.

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  (910): You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear. http://tfl.nu/21wf
  Replies (3) Good night (1011) Bad night (2742)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD

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  (404): I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD http://tfl.nu/5vxn
  Replies (20) Good night (871) Bad night (5770)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick

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  (607): You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick http://tfl.nu/kpxh
  Replies (18) Good night (3100) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.

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  (360): Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home. http://tfl.nu/g7t7
  Replies (8) Good night (1624) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4

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  (218): Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4 http://tfl.nu/3h2w
  Replies (36) Good night (1620) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.

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  (907): according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it. http://tfl.nu/rmyb
  Replies (7) Good night (1080) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy

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  (763): I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy http://tfl.nu/fuzq
  Replies (2) Good night (1004) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.

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  (306): That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives. http://tfl.nu/0tdc
  Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.

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  (610): The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it. http://tfl.nu/y85o
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long

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  (601): Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long http://tfl.nu/yjw4
  Replies (6) Good night (451) Bad night (279)

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