Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Define "chronic" masturbator.

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  (301): Define "chronic" masturbator. http://tfl.nu/qw3m
  Replies (14) Good night (1566) Bad night (1635)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i'm home, then i'll come over

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa

  (514): View more from Quebec

  nvm.

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  (514): i'm home, then i'll come over (1-514): ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa (514): nvm. http://tfl.nu/kqkd
  Replies (40) Good night (1188) Bad night (3320)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.

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  (780): i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/5eaf
  Replies (33) Good night (833) Bad night (6131)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.

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  (352): You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/vzqd
  Replies (8) Good night (3690) Bad night (658)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.

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  (786): i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot. http://tfl.nu/tkrk
  Replies (19) Good night (1131) Bad night (4577)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.

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  (303): I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/3z60
  Replies (20) Good night (1735) Bad night (4075)
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  (658): View more from

  Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk

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  (658): Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk http://tfl.nu/a8a4
  Replies (5) Good night (2638) Bad night (918)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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  (517): After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders. http://tfl.nu/u1xt
  Replies (19) Good night (3111) Bad night (873)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Did it finish?

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  (203): You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified. (508): Did it finish? http://tfl.nu/ahm8
  Replies (4) Good night (3087) Bad night (967)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.

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  (803): I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver. http://tfl.nu/862b
  Replies (1) Good night (1648) Bad night (677)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.

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  (702): The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever. http://tfl.nu/lrkg
  Replies (7) Good night (2355) Bad night (629)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry

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  (317): Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry http://tfl.nu/y5n9
  Replies (7) Good night (988) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works

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  (206): I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works http://tfl.nu/x0jm
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.

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  (307): So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room. http://tfl.nu/41ho
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (142)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.

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  (201): He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50. http://tfl.nu/gu4a
  Replies (7) Good night (369) Bad night (117)

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