Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
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Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
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I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.