rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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