so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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