just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
