YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
