Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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