wakey wakey hands off snakey
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
