i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
