I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
my liver is dry heaving
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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