What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
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You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm bleeding and have questions
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