it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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