If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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