I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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