Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to have your abortion
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize