This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i dont even know how to be here
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
