my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
