thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize