Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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