FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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