She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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