Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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