omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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