I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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