This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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