AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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