Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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