I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
