Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
