Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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