It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
