Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
