Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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