i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
