What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We have started to decorate penises.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Randomize
