Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
