The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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