I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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