She announced her abortion via fbk
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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