I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
