how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Randomize
