The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
