brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
