hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My pussy is not your playground.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
