He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
