Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
