so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
