I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
why is half of my head shaved?
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