He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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