I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
